The crumbs for my daughter.

I knew He was coming our way, I'd heard about Him from so many others & I knew this had to be the Messiah the Jews had longed for. I knew that He had healed so many - lame people walking, blind people seeing, deaf hearing & most importantly demons cast out & the people set free. 

That was the thing, that was what I wanted. More than anything in the world that was what I wanted for my daughter, freedom from the demons that possessed her, but He was a Jewish teacher, a Jewish healer, nevertheless, I had to go.  

I didn't care what people thought of me, I just went.....such a crowd were following Him, but I didn't care. Knowing I can make myself heard when I need to I yelled with all the pent up years of frustration & grief 'Oh Lord, Son of David, my darling daughter is dreadfully possessed by a demon, have mercy on her & on me.' 

To begin with I thought He hadn't heard me because of all the rest of the people around me, but then I heard His disciples asking Him to do something to shut me up! Then I was upset - couldn't He see that I actually believed He could heal her. 

He told His disciples that He had only come for the children of Israel, not for the likes of me. 

I had to get to Him, I had to keep pushing, because He needed to see just how desperate I was. I finally was allowed to get in front of Him, at which point I dropped to my knees before Him, worshipping Him as the God-Man Messiah I realised He is, but through my worship the prayer that fills my life spilled over. 

He told me that it wouldn't be right to give a dog like me the food meant for the children. 

Now, I know what I am, I know I am not a child of Israel, I know in many people's eyes I am nothing, so His words did not shock me, but I was angry - even the smallest, weakest pup gets the crumbs that are too small for anyone else, surely I should be allowed to have those crumbs? 

I told Him that & I would have stayed there all day arguing with Him, this was my one chance for my daughter & I'd have given everything I had to see her healed.

As I spoke & as I then waited, His whole demeanour changed & He looked at me, looked straight into my soul & I knew from that one look that there was acceptance. Acceptance for who I was, not for who I wasn't! I knew that He didn't see me as a dog really, He saw the longing of my heart for my daughter, but He also saw that I truly believed He was the Messiah of God. I don't know how I knew all this from one look, but believe me or believe me not, I just did! 

It was at that point He spoke & told me that my faith was great & that it had been done for me as I wished! I had known that He was her only chance, I had known that He had to be who He said He was, or He couldn't have done what He was doing. Is that faith, or simply truth played out in my tenacity? 

Either way, I shall never forget Him because after I had run home, my daughter for the first time was in her right mind - she was completely the child I had glimpsed within her apart from the demon that possessed her. 

I knew it, I knew He had done it, even before I had got home, just as I knew that He had recognised me from that one look, that He had seen who I was & that despite what I am, He valued WHO I am.




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